It’s just another part of my Lenten prate this year. Along with waling a mile (unless it is raining. Snow means walking in my boots!) I am reading Kate Bowler’s Good Enough:40ish Devotionals for a life of Imperfection. (Full confession. I have a huge fan crush on her, and yes Anita knows.) There is a short devotional for everyday in Lent, along with a blessing and a short something to do. Just wonderful! And I have enjoyed every one of them. I even enjoyed today’s, right up to the very end.
She was talking about the fact that none of us are self-made. We are all the result of so many others who have made us who we are. And throughout I was nodding in agreement.
Then in the “thing to do” section she invited us to remember those who have provided the foundation for our lives. “Doctors and nurses…..” At the end she suggested we perhaps send them a note of gratitude.
“I will do that,” I thought! I will send Dr. Toole a note to say thank you.
Dr. James Toole came into my life by chance/accident in August of 1980. I had graduated from Wake Forest in May and at the end of the summer stared having some issues. A trip to the hospital in Raleigh, NC said that some tests needed to be run, and so I was transferred to NC Baptist Hospital. It was closer to home and near to friends. That was when Dr. Toole came into my room, followed by an entourage of med students. He introduced himself and did what became our normal routine of his checking my eyes, my reflexes—a general neurological exam. Dr. Toole was just my doctor.
I later discovered that in the halls of the Bowman Gray School of Medicine he was a god! Friends who were in med school shared the fear/reverence students had of him. In later years when I would see other neurologists in other states, or after he had retired they would learn he was “my doctor” and they would be impressed.
But he was just my doctor.
The second time I was admitted to the hospital late on a Sunday night he came in and went through our “routine” neurological exam without saying a word. We both knew the routine. Then he got up and started to walk out the door, again without saying anything. I stopped him and he turned in the doorway, looked back at me and pointing a finger said, “You weren’t supposed to be back. Not this soon.”
It was then that I knew he cared and that I would do anything he said!
That was over 40 years ago. I saw him last about 20 years ago. I had heard he had retired, but after reading Kate’s suggestion this morning I was moved to drop him a note.
I Googled Dr. James Toole, and the first thing that popped up was “Obituary.”
He died last September. As I read his obituary I learned that he played the harmonica, that he had a law degree, had served in Korea. I learned that he had been married for 69 years.
I never knew!
All I knew was that he was my doctor and because of that I felt safe. I was safe because he cared. “You weren’t supposed to be back…”
I told Anita and just broke down in tears.
Tears of gratitude,
Tears of grief.
Tears that I never got to say thank you.
I have a list now of people I need to write the rest of Lent.
Yet another Lenten discipline! Thank you Kate Bowler!!!